Why I’m Not Shopping This Black Friday
I used to think shopping and accumulating things were a reward for all my hard work. I had the “work hard, play hard” mentality down to a science, and for a while, it felt good. But as I shared in Chapter Four of my new book, Wake Up & Smell the Coffee, shopping gradually became a vice—a temporary thrill that wore off faster than I could click "add to cart." Growing up in a Western, capitalist society, I was conditioned to believe that material success equaled happiness. But once I began to question this, everything changed.
My breakthrough came when I encountered the concept of detachment in Buddhist teachings. At first, it sounded unrealistic—how could anyone be happy with less material possessions? But I soon learned that detachment isn’t about rejecting things completely; it’s about loosening their grip on your heart and freeing yourself from the emotional attachment to them.
I've also become very intentional about what I choose to bring into my life these days. I’m not suggesting we should live without the things we enjoy. I still appreciate my Jeep, my home, books, and my favourite clothes. The difference now is that they no longer define me or determine my worth. I’ve learned to enjoy them for what they are—tools that enhance my life, not trophies that measure success. They no longer hold the power to make or break my sense of happiness or identity. What I’ve come to realize is that every item I choose to bring into my life represents a trade-off—time spent working to afford it. By being more intentional, I’ve discovered the freedom that comes from needing less. The less I consume, the more time and money I free up to focus on what truly matters which for me are experiences, travelling and cultivating genuine connections. It’s not about depriving myself; it’s about reclaiming my time and using it to build a life that feels fulfilling and aligned with who I am.
As a former business owner who generated massive revenue on Black Friday at my million-dollar bakery business, I now see things very differently. The frenzy of consumerism often blinds us to what truly matters. I used to view the rush, the sales, and the influx of money as a measure of success, believing that the more people bought, the better things were. Over time, though, I realized this constant cycle of consumption doesn’t bring lasting fulfillment, either to the consumer or to me as the business owner. The thrill of the sale fades, and what remains is the emptiness of chasing something that doesn’t nourish the soul.
Now, I’m not only glad to be stepping away from Black Friday shopping, but I’m also proud to not be contributing to the cheap dopamine hits that those "good deals" provide. That quick satisfaction of scoring a bargain may feel rewarding in the moment, but it only reinforces the cycle of empty consumerism. I’ve chosen to live outside of that rush and focus on what truly enriches my life—experiences, relationships, and the pursuit of deeper, more meaningful fulfillment.
The key is enjoying material things without letting them define us emotionally. When I look at Black Friday sales now, I no longer feel the pull to buy something just because it’s a good deal or because everyone else is doing it. The dopamine rush I once felt from scoring a bargain has faded. I’ve come to realize that those quick thrills don’t provide lasting fulfillment. They’re just temporary fixes, distracting us from the deeper satisfaction that comes from intentional choices and discipline. Now, when faced with a purchase, I ask myself, “Do I need this? Does this truly add value to my life? How will I feel about this item in a few weeks onces the initial high wears off of purchasing it?”
Take a moment to evaluate your relationship with shopping and consumerism. How often do you buy something just to feel good in the moment? How many times have you caught yourself in the frenzy of a sale or felt pressured to keep up with trends? How often have you purchased something only to forget about it a week or two later? It’s easy to get swept up in the cycle of instant gratification, but real fulfillment comes from something deeper. I challenge you to step back and ask: "Is this purchase truly necessary? Is it adding value to my life, or just filling a temporary emotional void?" By taking a more intentional approach, you can break free from the emotional pull of consumerism and start making choices that align with your long-term happiness.
Think about the societal pressure Black Friday creates—a day that turns shopping into a high-stakes competition. We're bombarded with advertisements convincing us that if we don’t participate, we’re somehow losing out. This isn’t by accident; it’s a calculated strategy designed to make us feel inadequate or left behind if we don’t seize the so-called "deals." The fear of missing out is weaponized to override our better judgment, making us believe we need things we’ve never even considered before. This collective brainwashing keeps us tethered to consumerism, prioritizing the thrill of a discount over intentional choices. It’s worth asking: Who benefits when we cave to this pressure, and what are we sacrificing in the process?
Remember, happiness doesn’t come from what you own—it comes from how you live, the relationships you nurture, and the meaning you create in your life. Now is the time to make a change and start creating a life where less really can be more.
When we stop buying things we don’t need and learn to find happiness and contentment with less, something remarkable happens—we free ourselves. By cutting out unnecessary purchases, we end up with more money in our pockets and, as a result, can work less. This means more time for the things that truly matter: pursuing passions, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying a slower pace of life. Look around your home at all the objects you’ve willingly traded your most valuable asset—time—for. Every item represents hours, even days, of your life spent working to earn the money to buy it. Now imagine how much less you’d have to work if you ended the cycle of mindless consumption. By embracing intentionality, you can reclaim your time, your money, and your freedom.
If you're ready to take the next step in detaching from material things, vices, and negative coping mechanisms, my new book, Wake Up & Smell the Coffee, is here to guide you. In it, I dive deeper into the process of freeing yourself from the grip of consumerism and finding lasting fulfillment. Whether you're looking for a physical copy, a digital version to read on Kindle, or an audiobook to listen to on Audible, I've made it easy for you to choose the format that works best for you. It’s time to make intentional choices that align with your true happiness—grab your copy today and start your journey toward a more meaningful life. I truly believe that after you read it, it’ll be the last thing you'll want to buy for a very long time.
