How to Have an Intentional Holiday Season: Stop Over-Spending, Over-Eating, and Over-Gifting

The holiday season often feels like a time for excess—whether it's over-spending, over-eating, or over-gifting. For years, that was my holiday reality: mindlessly spending money, indulging in food and drinks with no consideration for my health. It was a chaotic time, and one that left me feeling drained rather than fulfilled. But everything changed when I decided to take control of my health journey during the most inconvenient time—right before Christmas.

This decision set me on a path of intention. I chose to stop mindlessly following the societal pressures that dictated how I should spend, eat, and give. Instead, I embraced a more intentional approach to the holidays. And now, I’m here to share how you can do the same.

Another major shift I made was how I spent my time with others. In past years, I often found myself attending holiday parties and gatherings with people I didn’t genuinely care to see. These were events that felt more like obligations than celebrations, leaving me feeling drained and disconnected. It took me a while to realize that my time is precious, and I don’t have to spend it with people who don’t align with my values or bring me joy. I started setting clearer boundaries, saying no to gatherings that didn’t feel right, and prioritizing time with those who truly mattered. This allowed me to focus on deeper, more meaningful connections and helped me reclaim my holiday spirit.

I know many of you can relate to the pressure of over-indulging, over-spending, and attending events you dread. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of holiday expectations—whether it’s the obligation to buy extravagant gifts, overeat at family dinners, or show up at social events simply because you’re “supposed to.” We often forget that the holidays are meant to be a time of joy and connection, not a source of stress. The good news is, you have the power to reclaim this time, make choices that support your well-being, and let go of the traditions or habits that no longer serve you.

Why We Overdo the Holidays

1. Cultural and Societal Pressures: From TV ads to social media posts, we are constantly told that bigger is better. The idea of having the most extravagant holiday celebrations or spending beyond our means can make us feel like we’re not doing enough if we don’t meet these expectations.

2. Emotional Triggers: The holidays are often a time of stress, guilt, and trying to please others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of buying gifts out of obligation or eating more than we should just to feel like we're participating in the festive mood.

3. The Impact of Excess: Over-spending, over-eating, and over-gifting don’t just create stress—they can also lead to financial strain, burnout, and ultimately, a lack of true joy. The holidays should be about celebrating what matters most, not keeping up with a never-ending cycle of excess.

4. Victim to Marketing Propaganda: Let’s face it: we’re often swayed by clever marketing. It convinces us that we need more—more food, more gifts, more experiences. But true happiness doesn’t come from materialism. It comes from being present and intentional.

How to Create an Intentional Holiday

Who You’re Around

• Don’t Feel Obligated: It’s okay to say no to events that don’t align with your values or that drain your energy. You don’t have to attend every gathering or spend time with people who don’t make you feel welcomed and respected.
• Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries with family and friends is crucial. It’s about compromising when necessary but also standing firm in your decisions. Don’t stretch yourself too thin just to please others. Set pre-determined time limits for arrival and departure on all gatherings.
• Respectful Relationships: If someone doesn’t respect you for who you are or makes you feel unwelcome in their space, don’t tolerate it. The same goes for the people you invite into your own home. Authenticity should always be respected—anything less is unacceptable.

What You Eat

• Don’t Let One Mistake Ruin Your Day: It’s easy to think that eating one cookie or indulging in that extra serving of mashed potatoes means you’ve ruined the entire day. Not true. Have the cookie, enjoy it, and get back on track the next day.
• Avoid Mindless Eating: Don’t fall into the trap of eating just because it’s there. Be intentional with every bite. You control what you put into your body, and there’s no reason to let peer pressure or guilt trips influence your choices.
• Plan Ahead: Before heading to a holiday party or dinner, decide what your plan will be. Know what you’re comfortable eating and drinking so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or pressured to consume things that don’t align with your goals.

How Much You Spend

• Stop Glorifying Overspending: It’s time to break the cycle of overspending during the holidays. Many people don’t budget all year and then feel the weight of debt come January. This is not a sustainable way to live.
• Inflation is Real: With the cost of living rising, it’s important to be mindful of how much you’re spending. Real friends and family don’t expect you to go into debt just to buy them a gift. They value your time and love far more than any material possession.
• Be Mindful of Your Financial Health: Consider alternatives to expensive gifts. You don’t need to buy something extravagant to show your appreciation. The holidays are about thoughtfulness, not over-spending. 

What You Give

• Support Small Businesses: Instead of buying from large corporations, consider supporting small businesses. You’re not just purchasing a gift—you’re helping someone’s dream thrive.
• Thrift Shops Are a Treasure: Thrift shops often have unique, meaningful gifts that don’t break the bank. Whether it’s vintage jewelry, cozy blankets, or quirky home decor, these items are one-of-a-kind and full of character.
• Books That Inspire: Books have been a huge part of my personal growth. Consider gifting books that can inspire or teach something new. Whether it’s about health, wellness, personal development, or a hobby, books are gifts that keep on giving.
• Experiences Over Material Things: Experiences create lasting memories, so why not gift an experience instead of a material item? A cooking class, an event ticket, or even a weekend getaway could be the perfect present.
• Consumable Gifts: Gifts that can be used up—like teas, coffee, soaps, and bath products—are both practical and appreciated. Consider something your recipient can use and enjoy.

The Benefits of an Intentional Holiday

1. More Meaningful Connections: By being intentional about who you spend time with, what you eat, and how you spend your money, you’ll create more meaningful memories and connections with the people you care about.
2. Reduced Stress: Focusing on what matters most will help reduce the stress that often comes with the holidays. You’ll feel more in control of your choices, less burdened by obligations, and more at peace with your decisions.
3. Gratitude and Fulfillment: A holiday centered around intention will leave you with a greater sense of gratitude and fulfillment. Instead of feeling drained or overwhelmed, you’ll feel more aligned with your true values.

Practical Tips for an Intentional Holiday

1. Create a Holiday Intention List: Take a moment to ask yourself, What do I want to feel this season? Do you want to feel peaceful, grateful, or connected? Write it down and keep it as your guide.
2. Use a Planner: Set clear limits on spending, eating, and socializing. Knowing your boundaries ahead of time will help you stay on track.
3. Communicate Your Intentions: Talk to your family and friends about your plans. Let them know your intentions for the season so they can support you. Setting expectations in advance will help avoid misunderstandings.

If this blog post resonated with you, I encourage you to share this with others who might benefit from a more intentional holiday season. Also, go and listen to episode 80 from my podcast for a more in-depth dive of being intentional this holiday season. Search Scrap the Sweet Talk podcast on any podcast app (they're free). 

Grab a copy of my new book: Wake Up & Smell the Coffee for a comprehensive tool in changing your life to align more authentically with who you really are.